almost everything here resonates

http://thechristianpundit.org/2013/04/04/preachers-daughters/

and I wouldn’t have it any other way

and they may be helpful in better understanding close ones struggling with depression. the second one more, probably.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

The stewardess put him the wrong seat and left to tend to other matters, making everyone play musical chairs. After this turn of events I sat next to him. He sat and heaved and breathed hard and recouped and spoke to himself what sounded like “oh gosh, I’m finally here, phew, heee, hooo.” Here I was living in my own life, thoughts and feelings, but I so wondered what his life and story were. I wonder what it’d be like to step out and live in his life for a bit. Stop being so self-centered, Eunjin. The next three and a half hours ensued with 99% nonverbal communication about taking the seat belt off, ordering drinks, waiting on occupied bathrooms, telling time, giving trash back to the stewardess, getting luggage, and a few other small talk items that only really half-happened…or I think only really half-happened.

I so wish I spoke Spanish. I so wish I spoke every language. 

Tower of Babel………….sigh.

Also. I realized how unfair it is for those who can’t read or comprehend the word “LIFT” engraved into the seat belt buckle. Or for those who are too small to see the stewardess do a seat belt click-release demonstration. The things I take for granted. Never again will I wonder why there are always English-Spanish words on the majority of things. 

A beautiful thing happened at the end, though, when we became an unspoken team and got each others’ luggage. And others around took part with understanding smiles, silent participation and acknowledging nods.

I love when that happens. 

me: I landed.
dad: good. your mom is at E37.

I get to the gate and my mom skips over to me in her stylish blue capri pants. She is so cute as she says “my daughterrrrr.” We bear hug for a while, release, and I don’t know why I have tears forming that I must delete. We realize everyone is looking at us with big smiles. This lady is literally about to cry. We are like a k-drama. Embarrassing. Then my dad comes out of hiding with his sneaky smile. My mom is like ohh that’s what he meant when he texted you. I am so happy to see him there. My dad is so pleased with himself for tricking me. 

I have a troll dad.

It’s good to be home for two weeks. I find myself intentionally and consciously accepting the love they give. Eat this snack (even though you’re full). Listen to this advice (even though I’ve told you it before). Accept this gift (even though it’s small). I remember that I give them love by accepting their love. What a selfless love they give. And how easy I have it. 

I don’t think I have many of these left, these trips home that keep getting shorter and shorter. It used to be a summer. It was then a month. It’s now two weeks. Age 20 will become 21 come July, and 21 will soon become 22, 23, 24, 25… Real person status, oh gosh.

I will cherish the things of these two weeks. So far my dad is sick and I get to take care of him. So far I see my mom now makes homemade yogurt and has avocados for snacks. So far my baby brother showed me his epic drum line videos. So far my baby sister is not home. 

To my children.

…So enjoy all God has blessed in your life… Life, health, family, brother and sisters, friends, church, money, relationship, college, and… Even today. Just be responsible and reliable before your God everyday. Then He will be with you and walk with you… And people today can see Him through/in your life’s journey. Enjoy your today, do your best for everything, and do not worry about result. After all, all are not yours but God’s. Therefore, enjoy being His kid in His world with Him. Your life will be wonderful adventure.

Love, love, and love. Dad